Relaxed selling: how to let go of the pressure to perform
Relaxed selling means letting go of the pressure of the deal and focusing on the conversation. Discover why calm pays off more, with the Customer Experience Model.
- Relaxed selling means letting go of performance pressure and focusing on the conversation instead of the deal.
- When you are relaxed your customer relaxes too: the walls come down, and it is in that calm that trust is born.
- Relaxed is not lazy, it is confident: focus on the process, know your numbers, and treat a no as information rather than rejection.

Do you know that feeling of walking into a conversation with your shoulders up around your ears and a knot in your stomach? Your head is full of I have to, I have to, I have to sell. Believe me, your customer notices from miles away. And that is exactly why relaxed selling pays off so much.
What relaxed selling means
Relaxed means you let go of the pressure to perform. You focus on the conversation, on the person in front of you, on solving their puzzle. And then something happens: when you are relaxed, your customer relaxes too. The walls come down, and there is room for a real conversation. It is right there, in that calm, that trust is born.
Relaxed is trust, not laziness
Many people think relaxed is the same as not being driven. The opposite is true. Relaxed is not laziness, it is trust. Trust in your own value, and the calm to let go of the result. Because what you do today often only pays off three months from now. All the energy you lose fretting over a disappointing month could have gone into value for your customer.
How to let go of the pressure to perform
How do you get into that relaxed state? It starts with a simple shift in your goal. Your goal becomes: I am here to help. Sales is the natural result of that. Focus on the process, and the outcome follows. Know your numbers, so you know it works out over the long run and you do not panic at a single no. And treat a no as information: the need is not there yet, or the timing is off. That takes the charge out of it.
Work this way and you also find joy in the process itself, in connecting and helping. And that joy shows. Customers feel that too.
Relaxed, together with honest, is the core attitude of the Customer Experience Model. The two carry all the other elements.
In your next conversation, notice your shoulders. Are they up around your ears? Breathe out first, and only then ask your first question. Want to know how much calm there is in your customer contact right now? Take the free scan.
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Klaas Kroezen is an entrepreneur who trains, coaches and speaks. He wrote the #1 Dutch bestseller Sales, Honest & Relaxed and the new book Van klant naar fan (From customer to fan, November 2026). After 25+ years in sales with his own international market research firm, he helps organisations adopt the From customer to fan mindset: selling honestly and relaxed, and turning customers into fans with the whole team.
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