Which version of yourself do you select? The 100% helping check

You have the best version of yourself inside you. And the worst. We all have them. The question is not whether you are having a good day, the question is which version you select at the moment that counts. And that selecting, you can learn.

Every version of yourself has its own language

Just look at how it works. How you feel, the state you are in, determines which version is active. That version has its own posture, its own focus and even its own language, literally the sentences that come out of your mouth. The tense version says "can we still sign this month?" and has its head in the forecast. The honest, relaxed version asks "where do you want to go?" and has its attention fully on the customer. Same person, same knowledge, completely different conversation. And within a minute the customer feels which version they are sitting across from.

Choose consciously instead of the circumstances

Usually we let the circumstances decide which version it becomes. A busy month, disappointing figures, a leadership team that pushes: there you go, the tense version. But it can work the other way around too. I have done it myself for years, before every conversation, with one simple check beforehand: am I in "100% helping" mode?

How to do the 100% helping check

Here is how it works. Before an important conversation take a few minutes, for big presentations happily a quarter of an hour, to clear your head. I am an entrepreneur too, I also have to earn my keep, but I know: that is of no use to the customer. So I deliberately park it. One question remains: how am I going to help this person as much as possible? The result, deal or no deal, I let go of completely, trusting that helping to the maximum ultimately yields the most. And then you feel it happen: your shoulders drop, your attention shifts outward, the right version comes online.

A small ritual, a big effect. Because you are not only selecting a more pleasant conversation with it, you are selecting the version of yourself that wins deals without pushing.

This is the practical side of the iceberg: your identity drives your behaviour. You will find more of this kind of mind-tooling in beliefs in sales and in my book Sales, Honest & Relaxed. And do check in with yourself, before your next conversation: which version are you taking in with you?